Quiet the voices of self doubt, I claim victory

• Don't go, you don't have anything clean to wear - I threw on my gym clothes from yesterday
• You can't go, you didn't sleep enough, your body needs rest - I'll take a nap later
• You've got too much to do today already - This is the only thing that matters today
• You're doing it all alone, no one believe you'll succeed - I got God in my corner and people who believe in me
• You might as well stop now, you already binged this week, you're a failure - I claim victory in my heavenly father's name. I may fall six times, but I rise 7.
• Your stomach is growling, you need to eat, theres a burger king, come on, a breakfast sandwich won't hurt - I'll drink my protein shake and fruit when I get back. 
• It looks like it might rain, better turn back - Good, I need a shower. 
• You know how hard its going to be to get walking? You haven't walked all week - I'll push through
• Your pace is slowing, you should just stop now - Carmen said don't stop, keep going
• You need to pee - I can hold it
• Your back is hurting, better sit down - I made it before, I can make it again
• Everyone is passing you - We all run our own race
• You're almost finished, why not stop now, you've done enough - I'm not done yet
• Your time will be worse than when you first started, I bet its probably 40 minutes today - IT WAS 24:30.....anything else you have to say? I claim victory. The set backs I had this week, the internal and external pressures to fail, God has an anointing on my life and while there will always be someone or something against you, you have to push through and put your faith in him. I am learning to walk by FAITH not by SIGHT.  I may not see the end of the journey but everyday I am one step closer. I have to stay focused, shut up the self doubt, and walk in him!

Oh deep fried fat, why do you tempt me so?!

I couldn't help myself, Monday and Tuesday this week I fell victim to my binges in my weakest time - the evenings. It started with KFC for dinner on Monday, then Pizza Hut for lunch on Tuesday followed by a midnight snack of 6 Krispy Kremes Tuesday night. Not working out any of those days made me feel even worse. I felt like sh*t when I looked in the mirror. Immediately I felt my energy being zapped out of me. I just wanted to sleep. I couldn't find the energy to get out of bed. My stomach ached after being on fresh fruits and veggies and then cramming it with the high powered sludge from my binge. I emailed my walking coach with such a sense of failure but she reassured me that days like this would happen and that I need to keep going. I'm a bit nervous because I am wondering how the binges and not working out this week will affect my workout tomorrow. We will soon see.....

Ok, screw the pounds, I AM 8 MINUTES DOWN!!!!!

Today was week 2 of my 5k walk training class. Once again I was the only one to show up to the class but its okay. I've gotten over trying to get other people to join in with me and I'm focused on my own health.  I felt nervous as I sat and listened to my instructor. Last week when I walked our same path that we were about to take today, I felt like I was gonna die! I was so sore I slept all day and felt like I was hit by a truck and now this week she mentioned walking a little faster. WHAT! I doubted myself but in my heart I knew I could make it, I just had to focus on my end goal. This is my time to get fit, finally, no backing out. We went to our starting point and she hit the timer. Immediately, I noticed my pace was a little faster. As we pasted the park benches, I remembered last week how my body begged to sit down in the first few minutes. This week i blew past those suckers! As we rounded the lake and looped back to our starting point, she looked at me and said "your pace is better than last week". I noticed it too but what I focused on the most was that my body pain didn't kick in until towards the end of the walk - even then it was minimal- and I kept my pace. When we made it to our starting point she stopped the watch and I waited anxiously for her to tell me my time. I was hoping I shaved a minute or two off. My heart jumped for joy and I squealed like a little girl when the words came out of her mouth - "Last week it took you 30 minutes to walk the route, this week it only took you 22!" I jumped for joy!!!! I could not believe it! 8 MINUTES down from just one week! I was so happy I wanted to do more!

I am done with wanting a change, I am now MAKING a change!