Yeeehaw Texas!

So I came back from Texas last week and I have never done so much walking in my life. Well no that's not true I have but you know what I mean. While in Dallas I learned some very important life lessons that I began to apply immediately. The first was to stop comparing myself to others. The entire time that I was down there I constantly struggled to find someone who was bigger than me or who  dressed like me. I felt out of place as I realized I was the biggest one there. I looked at the women who walked by me and noticed their heads were held high, they all wore high heels, not a bead of sweat on any of their foreheads, and they looked like they belonged there. The first two days I spent trying to fit in, trying not to look so fat, and strategically planning every tiny detail of my day. I was embarrassed to eat so I tried not to eat in front of anyone. I remember being in my hotel room and scarfing down two little cans of beanies and weenies to hold me over until our salad for dinner. I didn't want to be looked at as different I wanted to fit in so badly. After 2 days of constant stress and worry I heard a message from one of the Nationals on stage. Her words spoke to my heart and instantly changed the way I thought. She spoke directly to me while on stage and explained how she would compare herself to others and how silly it was. As she spoke I realized that I had been putting myself down the whole time and instead of enjoying this once in a lifetime experience I was beating myself up for not being like "them".  As each speaker spoke more about confidence and believing in yourself it sank deeper into my self esteem. By the time I left the arena I felt like a switch had been turned on inside of me. Even now I cannot find the words to explain how it felt or how it changed.  As I walked through the arena and towards my shuttle I saw a woman who was gorgeous and has such a beautiful outfit on and instead of me beating myself up because I couldn't wear something like that or I wasn't that pretty, I instead walked up to her and told her how beautiful she looked.   I found myself doing that to every woman that I would normally compare myself to and by the end of that night I was looking in the mirror and telling myself the same thing. As each day went on my confidence grew and my attitude begin to change. I was speaking up more, I wasnt ashamed that I had to wear flip flops because I couldn't stand in my heels for long, I was not ashamed that I had to wear my same black skirt because I only had one in my entire wardrobe, I wasnt  ashamed that I had to bring a sweat rag to dab my forehead because of all the walking I was doing.  While I may not have had the expensive outfit or amazing ball gowns that everyone else had I didn't compare myself to them, they looked beautiful and so did I. While in Dallas I grew by leaps and bounds I came back to Charlotte a brand new person. I am hoping this transformation lasts and that I carry the messages that I heard and the lessons that I learned with me as I grow more comfortable in my own skin.

Oh and I lost 5 more pounds yeah yuh!!!!!