What the hell is a huckleberry?!

So I have been reading a book called “Raw Food, Real World” by Matthew Kenney and Sarma Melngailis (she was so kind to send it to me to help me in my journey-Thanks Sarma!!) and I am absolutely blown away by the raw food lifestyle. I have tried various diets before – including vegetarian in which I lost 60 lbs as a teenager before inevitably going back to meat- and all resulted in weight loss, weight gain, and overall an empty bank account. When I started reading about the raw food diet in the book, my first though was “okay, how much is this going to cost?” The thought of buying vegetables and fruits when I was…and still am…broke was a bit overwhelming. Then I thought of what I had spent just the night before - nearly $27 in pizza and wings, $20 in alcohol drinks- and I felt like an idiot. While that type of spending isn’t a nightly thing – it is nearly a weekly occurrence.  These types of meals are my “treats” and “rewards” for my healthy eating and few pounds lost. A…..how incredibly stupid to reward yourself for good eating with sludge like that…and B - How could I sit here and complain about how much it costs to eat healthy when I just spent $47 on one meal? It is amazing to me how we rationalize our behaviors and habits in order to keep our lives the way they are. I’m the first to admit, I want change but I am terrified of it.  I’ve gone through a lot of change in my life but my weight and health has always been the one thing that has stayed constant-constantly fat and unhealthy of course- but constant.   I want change but I know it will not (and has not) been an easy journey.  I have stumbled many times, had a few successes and plenty of failures, but in the end it comes back to me being afraid of change.  While I am afraid of change, the cost of staying where I am is absolute death. There is no way I will be alive in the next 10 years if I continue the pattern of weight loss and weight gain I have experienced my whole life so a change is needed.

Hang on….let me read my breadcrumb trail to see how I got on this point….

Oh, raw food, yes. As I read through the recipes of the book, I was intimidated by ingredients I vaguely remembered seeing on the shelves at stores but would never dare to try. Things like quinoa,  jicama, agave,  and huckleberries (which by the way I had no idea was a real thing!). I remember hearing these terms on various cooking shows but as far as me using them, it never crossed my mind. My diet of processed frozen foods, refined flours, sugars, and fats is what I am used to. Sure I eat fruits and vegetables – I love Brussel sprouts and watermelon, but my tastes don’t roam far from what I grew up on.  I am excited to start incorporating some raw foods into my diet but I am also nervous as well and I’m not sure why.  Maybe it’s the fear of the unknown, or maybe its my own fear of success.  Either way, I’m willing to give it a try.