So on Friday my boss told me I would not have a job after June 10th. My heart broke because I love my job and I love the students I work with. I immediately began to think of the fact that my fiance is unemployed as well and we are behind on our rent from me being the sole provider. We cried together. After 4 hours of crying and eating a cheesecake with pizza I fell asleep and woke up on Saturday still upset but ready to get back on track and move forward. It is what it is, I just have to move forward. Sure I am upset and my anxiety is through the roof but I have to belief that God has a bigger plan for me.
My weekly weigh in this week was the same as last week but I think that could be due to water weight from Friday nights fast food. My fingers are like sausages today! While I was upset about my overeating, I accepted what I did and did not force myself to vomit as I normally do when I binge. Also, instead of beating myself up I decided to take my slip and move on. Today I got back on track and am looking forward to my next weigh in. I would have liked to handle my depression from Friday in a different and healthier manner but I wasn't sure of what to do so I went back to normal habits. I've never been good at handling stress and depression, hence the reason I was 491 lbs in the first place. I woke up this morning and instead of crying again over my job situation, I prayed until I feel asleep. I know God will not only help me in my job situation but he appreciates me taking the journey to take care of the body he gave me. I may slip up but who doesn't? The key is making sure I get right back on track.
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